|He gets dragged out of the hospital
room. Isn't there night watch there?? I mean, wouldn't it be obvious that some 7 foot dude
is dragging someone by one foot?? Did Bearer have to create a distraction? And since the
hearse was parked by a hydrant, it would have been funny to see UT lugging Steve to an
empty parking space. He'd have to go by foot then. And Bearer would never make it past a
block without wheezing.
Christian vs. Duane
Gill for the light heavyweight belt. Gangrel and Edge accompanies Christian and Gangrel is
STILL laughing. I think Edge and Christian will eventually tire of this and stake him.
JR calls Gill a 'poor ole sad sack..'
The Job Squad enters in this match as well and helps
Duane win the title belt!! It's pretty silly but hey, if Christian wasn't so stupid as to
maneuver himself to NOT see Scorpio flying in on top of him, he deserves to lose the belt.
The Hearse arrives at the burial ground and UT plops
Austin's body onto the mound of soil. Austin awakens but instead is met with more ether
and Undertaker's armpit. Poor guy. He just wanted a rest. Mm, which would he prefer?
Underpit or Ether? Well, UT does shave his armpits and I'm sure he uses something to
prevent razor stubble.
UT has a better idea for Austin. "We're going
to embalm him.." he says.
Pause. Bearer says, "ALIVE??" (good movie,
by the way..)
Pause. (like Undertaker screwed up his lines
we're going to embalm him alive.."
UT tried to drag Austin off camera but Austin's
boxers started coming off and they had to cut before they exited the range of the shot.
Darn, I would have liked to see the boxers come off. See if it's a Stone Cold Cucumber.
I'm such a pervert.
Godfather vs. Tiger Ali Singh. Darn it, where's the
dog when you need him. Normally we play with the house pets when these matches occur. So
Godfather offers his ho's to Ali again. Regal comes out, says, 'By the way, I'm British
you know.' Okay, he didn't say that. He said, 'I got screwed royally,' and his voice
By the way, he's British. (Ya think he's British? ... B.C.)
Godfather had been ready to pounce on Regal for the
last few minutes but it took a bit of time for Regal to make it into the ring. Regal was
like, 'hold on a sec.. I have to make my way in.. OH, my hardhat!' Godfather knocked that
thing off. Then Venis came in and it was an annoying mess.
NAO enters. This time Road Dogg didn't say 'CUT THE
MUSIC' and B'aaad Ass wasn't wearing those horrible boy leg briefs with the old lady hose
Really. The guy holding this sign up
was pretty manic however. I guess he really needed to do as his sign said.
NAO vs. Scorpio and Hair Plugg Holly. You know, all
these guys need is a make-over. Different hairstyles, new clothes, new car, learn how to
ballroom dance. Scorpio however wouldn't do well with a 'shaved' hair look. If he had a
Caesar hair cut he would definitely look like Spock (what with the those ears..). And
Sparky Plugg needs to embrace his male pattern baldness. And Bunnytitus teeth. OH.. sorry.
At this point, someone in the audience threw their
Head from the bleachers and it jet down past the camera's view. Hope it was a fake head.
Mankind then enters with the leaf blower. He had a
few people to blow. OH! Actually him and the leafblower is about the funniest thing the
WWF has offered as of late.
Holly and Scorpio actually beats NAO! Then Kenny and
Boss Man has to come in to ruin the party. Kenny barks, Boss Man spits. Kenny takes the
leaf blower and blows the ref out the ring. Good grief. I can imagine seeing Kenny in the
WWF meetings when these ideas are presented to him. 'You want me to do WHAT??? Listen, I'm
trying to get those two freak girls to stop laughing at me and you want me to blow Mick
with a LEAF BLOWER??!!' (TEE HEE!!!! Someone at the WWF
thinktank is a MPW fan!!!! ... B.C.)
Mankind's reaction would be more like, 'A
.. THAT'S GREAT!! I LOVE IT!!'
Boss Man would just spit.
The Hearse makes its way to a funeral home. It
looked like a house
perhaps it was Kane's house. Austin gets laid on the slab. At
least they had the courtesy to clean the dirt from his body.
UT hovers over Austin, talking down to his supine
body. What, was the script written on Austin's teeth or something?? 'You can't tempt
.. the ministry
band?? They're already disturbed..) Basically UT took his time delivering his lines.
Perhaps he had a receiver in his ear and someone was feeding him his lines.. in Latin and
he had to translate it into English.
Bearer cuts Austin's shirt open. You know, that's a
$30 shirt. JR screamed, "OH MI GOD!" Yes JR, OH MI GOD, Austin is naked from the
waist up!! Bearer proceeds to mush Austin's body.. like a veal, making sure it's
tenderized. I'm sure Bearer eats snacks the size of Austin.
UT starts chanting. We had to play this segment a
few times over to make sure we got EVERYTHING that he was chanting. And here it is..
. BAH BAH
' So basically he was just chanting his musical interests which I must say is an
eclectic range. Santana
. Abba.. Paul Anka.. and Barbara Streisand. Bearer was
looking at UT like, 'What the hell is wrong with you. I thought you liked Black Sabbath.'
Maybe UT should have started singing, 'Black Magic Woman' and (as in all Santana concerts)
it would start raining.
(For your listening pleasure, here is the Undertaker's actual chant. Here is what we think may have
inspired his chant: No. 1: from Excalibur -- "The spell of
making"; No. 2: from Army of Darkness).